


Winter Roses Still Have Thorns

by Northern_Lady



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:19:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 19,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyanna Stark survives Robert's rebellion. Robert does not. Jaime Lannister is thrown into a dungeon for his treason and scheduled for execution. But Lyanna doesn't want to marry Rhaegar. She's willing to help Jaime escape his fate if he'll help her to escape hers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Escape

Jaime’s cell under the city was colder than might be expected for this part of the world. It was no matter. He wouldn’t be in it for much longer anyway. Rhaegar would not likely permit his father’s murderer to live for long. He hadn’t been sentenced to execution yet, so perhaps Rhaegar had intended him to live out his days in a cell. It could be a many more years he supposed. Jaime wasn’t even twenty years old yet. People could languish in these cells well into old age. It had barely been three weeks for him and it felt like an eternity already. He kept reliving the moments over and over. Of Aerys chanting burn them all, of the blood on the floor when the sword was plunged into his back. He had broken his vows. Death was what he deserved. So why had he been left in this cell for so long? 

A noise of an approaching visitor broke into his thoughts. He saw the torchlight moving closer down the long hallway. It was a woman. A young woman with dark hair and gray eyes. Lyanna Stark. What was she doing here? 

She knelt down outside of his cell. “Ser Jaime?”

He just gazed at her, not comprehending why she had come to him at all. “Lyanna?” 

She nodded. “I’ve brought you some food.” She passed a parcel through the bars to him. Inside he found meat, cheese, figs, and a flagon of wine. 

“Thank you.” He said, still not understanding why she had come. 

“I have bad news.” She said as he began to eat. “The king has set your execution for a fortnight from now.” 

“Well at least it will be done with.” He quipped. 

She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t have to be.” She took a key from the folds of her dress and held it out to him. “I’ll help you escape if you’ll help me escape.” 

“What?” 

“I don’t want to be Rhaegar’s Queen. I never did. I know I can never go home, but perhaps I could go to Essos. I can’t do it alone...you’ve already defied the king, what do you stand to lose by helping me?” She said anxiously. 

“Nothing it seems.” He said, taking the key from her and standing. “Do you have a horse or a sword or any supplies readied?” 

She nodded again. “I have some things ready. If you’ll follow me I’ll show you where I’ve left them. From there we’ll board a ship.”  
And so Jaime followed her out of the cell and into the dead of night. The passageways out of the black cells were long and winding. Lyanna carried a torch to light the way. She walked quickly, anxiously it seemed. Though she could hardly be blamed for being anxious. She was defying the king by helping him escape and by running away herself. They walked for some minutes until they finally reached the door that would take them outside. Lyanna put the torch into a wall holder and picked up a sack of things that she’d left on the floor beneath it. She opened the bag and pulled out a sword, passing it to him. 

“The guards on the other side of the door were passed out drunk when I left them. We can only hope that they are still in that state.” She told him. 

He tentatively opened the door and took a look out to find the two guards were still unconscious. “It’s safe. Let’s go. To the harbor?” He asked. 

She nodded and allowed him to lead the way.


	2. At Sea

Blackwater Bay had many ships docked that night. Lyanna put up the hood of her cloak as they approached the docks. Her hands were shaking as she did so. 

“Have you already arranged passage or do we need to make up some story as to why we need passage in the middle of the night?” Jaime asked her. 

“I...I haven’t arranged anything.” She admitted, sounding defeated already. “I brought gold…” 

“Gold won’t be enough if anyone realizes who we are.” Jaime said, slightly frustrated. 

“I know that!” 

“We’ll have to tell them we are married.” Jaime said as they continued to walk. 

“And are doing what? Travelling to slavers bay to buy a few servants? We still need a reason to be going Essos. Perhaps something closer to the truth would be easier to believe.” She said. 

“What do you suggest?” 

“We’re not married. You’re helping me escape an unwanted marriage to a very wealthy man…” She began, hoping he would understand where she was going and finish the tale. 

“And why would I do that?” Jaime didn’t quite understand her cover story. 

Lyanna rolled her eyes at him. “Have you no imagination? You’re helping me escape so that you can marry me yourself after we reach Essos.” 

“I think I might have chosen something less romantic but we’ve no time to think of something else. We need names. I’ll be Yoren Hill.” Jaime said. 

“Ava Rivers.” 

He nodded his agreement and they walked together down to the purple sailed ship knowing that the purple sails meant it was bound for Braavos. 

It wasn’t until after they had woken the Captain, secured their passage, and been escorted safely to a cabin of their own that the pair finally had a chance to speak freely. Except that by then, Lyanna was too worried and anxious to really say anything at all and Jaime found that he was suddenly overcome with tiredness. He had spent several weeks in a cell after all with hardly any exercise and not nearly enough food. The hurried trip to the harbor had made him more tired than he would ever admit aloud. He was definitely going to need to get more exercise on the ship and get his strength back. He would be of no use to Lyanna if he couldn’t fight to protect her. Then he found himself wondering why he even wanted to protect her. He barely knew her. He fell asleep across the bed while she continued to pace the room that night. 

Jaime woke the next morning and found Lyanna Stark was asleep beside him. She kept to her own side of the bed. He could feel the movement of the ship. They had left the docks. They must be at sea. 

“Lyanna?” He said quietly waking her. “We’re at sea.” 

She breathed a sigh of relief at those words. They hadn’t reached safety yet but leaving Blackwater Bay was a huge step.


	3. Sailing

Jaime and Lyanna stood on deck of the ship and watched as King’s Landing grew smaller and smaller in the distance. They were each lost in their own thoughts. 

Jaime kept thinking of his father’s last words to him. Tywin had come to him while he’d been in that cell.

“You were too hasty, killing Aerys.” Tywin had said. “But it’s too late to regret that now. I will do what I can to get you out of this place. You are my son, I’ll not leave you here to be executed or to rot.” 

In the end Tywin had been unable to do anything to sway Rhaegar. The newly crowned king was firm in his decision that Jaime would be punished but he was not angry or even furious. It seemed that Jaime’s punishment was more about politics than about actual justice. After Tywin had come to him, Cersei had made her own visit. She had made all sorts of promises about escape, vengeance, love… and now he would likely never see her again, or Tyrion either. He knew that Cersei didn’t have the means to help him escape, that leaving with Lyanna was the best option he had, but it didn’t make him miss those he’d left behind any less. 

Lyanna watched the Red Keep grow smaller and was thankful that she didn’t have to sleep in there for another night. Rhaegar had not been cruel to her but he had not given her any choice in her future either. Everything about Rhaegar Targaryen had filled her with confusion. He was handsome and gallant and gentle just as he was stubborn and determined and reckless. He had seduced her, convinced her to come with him. How could she say no to that handsome smile? He was a prince and he had wanted her. She had been both flattered and intrigued by that. But when Brandon and her father were killed she had wanted to leave, she wanted to go home and stop anyone else from dying and Rhaegar wouldn’t let her go. He had never raped her as the rumors claimed but he had manipulated her again and again. She had been slow to recognize it for what it was. At first she had thought that he truly loved her. Maybe in his own way he had. But when she had asked him if their love was truly worth all this death and war his answer had made the truth clear for the first time. 

“The child that is inside you is the prince that was promised, the third head of the dragon. All that matters is keeping him safe.” Rhaegar had said. 

Those words had stung. It was then that she understood it had never been about her. It had been about the fulfillment of a prophecy. Rhaegar had been away in battle when the babe was born. Lyanna had given the child to Ned, made him promise to hide the babe. Then she had told Rhaegar that the baby had been stillborn. He had been devastated but he recovered enough to tell her that it wasn’t too late, they would have other children. Lyanna didn’t want to have other children. All she wanted even now was to go North to Winterfell and be with her son Jon Snow. Yet she knew she could never do that, if Rhaegar knew about Jon, he would raise him to be a king and to lead a war or conquer the world. She could not have that for her baby boy. She wouldn’t allow it. The only thing she could do was leave Westeros and never see her family again. She found herself humming as they stood on the deck of the ship and watched the city fade away. She didn’t keep the faith of the seven but the song was appropriate in any case. 

Gentle mother font of mercy  
Keep our sons from war we pray….


	4. Tiff

They couldn’t see land anymore, only water. Jaime took note of the tears in Lyanna’s eyes but said nothing about them. Finally she pulled her gaze away from the water and turned to him. She opened her mouth as if to say something and then closed it again. 

“It can’t have been so easy as all that.” She said after a moment. “He’ll send someone after us, won’t he?” 

“Probably.” Jaime agreed. “Though I imagine you know better than I what he’ll do next.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him, slightly angry. “What is that supposed to mean Ser?” 

“As his mistress, you were privy to more information than I ever was as a kingsguard. Your guess as to what he’ll do next is likely more accurate than mine.” 

“I wasn’t his mistress.” Lyanna protested. 

“So would you prefer I call you dragon whore like everyone else does?” Jaime said with half a grin on his face. 

Lyanna raised a hand as if to slap him in the face and then changed her mind at the last moment, moving her hand back to her side. Jaime saw what she meant to do and laughed. 

“So first you want my help and then you want to slap me? There must be something very confused in that cold Stark brain of yours.” Jaime said. 

“I’m not confused. I did need your help. It’s too dangerous for me to travel alone. I just didn’t expect you’d be so irritating.” 

“You know what really is irritating? When people are so confused that they don’t even know they’re confused. You for instance, had a chance to marry the king of the seven kingdoms and become queen and instead of doing that, you decide to run away with a man who was to be executed. Why would you do that if you’re not confused?” He said. 

Lyanna gazed at him wide eyed for a moment. “I’d rather not talk about this...it’s getting late...we should have breakfast…” She tried to move away from him and he caught her arm. 

“No.” He said firmly. “If you want me to protect you for the duration of this trip, the least you can do is explain to me why we’re really taking it.’ 

“I saved your life!” Lyanna protested. “I don’t have to explain anything to you.” 

He shrugged. “I suppose you don’t. Now that I’m out of that cell I don’t have to help you with anything anymore either.” 

“Have you no honor? You agreed-” She began but Jaime cut her off. 

“You’re one to talk of honor. Rhaegar fought a war for you and here you are running away the first chance you get. If he was cruel to you then I don’t blame you but I have never known him to be cruel. So tell me why we’re doing this? Why are you running away?” 

She swallowed then forced herself to meet his eyes. “You’re right. I have no honor. And I don’t wish to speak of it. Please just give me time…” 

“Alright.” Jaime agreed. “But only if you’ll admit that I’m not irritating.” 

“Never.” She said with a laugh. 

They went to the galley kitchen for breakfast. There was long table with benches there where many of the sailors and a few passengers were already seated. There were only a few women among them, Lyanna was easily the prettiest woman in the room. Though she was pretty enough that probably that was the case fairly often. Jaime noticed that several of the sailors were looking at Lyanna as they ate. He took note of which ones so that he might be wary of them in the future. In spite of what he had said to Lyanna, he did intend to protect her as they traveled. She had saved his life. It was the least he could do.


	5. Rapport

There wasn’t a lot to do on board the ship. Jaime and Lyanna found themselves back in their room a short time after breakfast. Lyanna sat on the edge of the bed and Jaime leaned against the closed door, arms crossed. 

“Are you going to just stand there all day?” Lyanna asked after a long period of silence.

“Don’t tell me you’re bored already Lady Stark.” Jaime replied. 

“No, just annoyed.” She said. 

“Why, because I’m standing here? I do seem to remember being invited along on this trip.” He said, irritated. 

“I didn’t say I was annoyed with your presence.” She protested. 

“Ah, so you are annoyed that I’m just standing here and doing nothing to see to your entertainment.” Jaime said. “I’m afraid you’ll find that I’m very unlike your last travelling companion. I will share your bed but I’ll not entertain you in it.” 

“I wasn’t asking you to.” Lyanna said, her cheeks flush with anger. 

“Good. Then you won’t be uncomfortable if I sit next to you?” He moved from the door and sat next to her on the bed without waiting for her answer. 

Lyanna glared at him. He was sitting next her rather closely. “There’s plenty of other space on this bed where you could be sitting.” 

“This spot suits me just fine.” He said, not moving. 

“It doesn’t suit me,” Lyanna said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s really too bad that they don’t have baths in dungeons.” She got up and went to the bag of things she had brought on board with them. She pulled out a few items of clothing and tossed them to him. “Maybe this will help.” 

“Clean clothes.” He held up the tunic and breeches which looked to be about the right size. “See, I knew you’d try to find a way to get me to take my clothes off.” 

“I never…” Lyanna started to say but she stopped mid-sentence as Jaime pulled off his tunic. 

Jaime laughed at the look on her face. Lyanna blushed and quickly turned away from him to face the wall while he changed the rest of his clothes. Lyanna hadn’t meant to stare. She had known obviously that Ser Jaime was handsome before he had ever agreed to help her. She had told herself it wouldn’t be a problem. Maybe it wasn’t going to be as simple as that with the two of them basically trapped in this small space. It didn’t help that it had been seven months since she’d been with a man. Rhaegar had not touched her since the time it became clear that she was with child. They had only been back in King’s Landing for less than a moon’s turn and apparently the King planned to wait until after the wedding to take her again. She had been glad of that, really. If he hadn’t waited then he might have convinced her not to run away. His kisses had been disconcerting enough as it was. She hadn’t expected that a shirtless Jaime Lannister could have such a similar effect on her. She didn’t like it. She didn’t want to ever let any man have such influence over her ever again. Rhaegar had convinced her to abandon her honor, abandon her family, ignore her betrothal to Robert, all because he was handsome and charming and he had made her feel desirable. It was a good thing that Ser Jaime was more irritating than charming. 

“I’ve finished.” Jaime said. “You can stop pretending you don’t want to look now.” 

Lyanna could only glare at him. She was still too flustered to think of anything witty to say. 

“I do hope these aren’t Rhaegar’s clothes.” Jaime was saying looking down at the well made tunic and breeches he wore. “Because that would just be awkward for both of us.” 

“They aren’t his clothes. I wasn’t even in his rooms in the Red Keep.” Lyanna said a bit irked. 

This news surprised Jaime a little. “Why?” He asked her. “I assume he was waiting until the wedding but why bother with such a pretense when everyone knows….” 

“Everyone knows what?” Lyanna said, growing angry. “Just say it. I know you want to.” 

“No actually I don’t. It was just a question of curiosity.” Jaime said. 

Lyanna looked down at her feet for a moment, a little ashamed of herself for her anger at him. “He put me in my own rooms so that I might have time to heal, to recover.” 

“Recover from what?” 

Lyanna couldn’t stop the tears that spilled out. She didn’t want to cry in front of him but this conversation and these questions were just too close to her heart not to. “From childbirth.” 

Jaime hadn’t expected this answer at all. He had known nothing about any pregnancy or baby. Which could only mean one thing, the baby had not survived. “I’m sorry.” He said, not knowing what else to say. 

Lyanna only nodding, brushing away her tears with the sleeves of her dress. She was anxious the change the subject. “We should see if any of the other passengers brought any books we can borrow. I’m willing to read aloud for a while to pass the time.” 

In the end they were able to borrow a copy of stories about Aegon the Conquerer and Lyanna read aloud for the better part of the day.


	6. Grains of Truth

Jaime couldn’t really pay attention while Lyanna read about Aegon the Conquerer. Tyrion would have loved this book. Tyrion had probably already read this book but Jaime had never been particularly interested in books. Books were usually boring. This one was no exception. 

He couldn’t help wondering as he sat there, sprawled out on the bed while Lyanna sat near the edge, if it would be possible to get a message to Cersei once they reached Braavos. Maybe she could come and join him across the narrow sea. No one would need to know that she was anyone other than his wife. They wouldn’t be Lannisters. They would just be common people making a life for themselves. He supposed she wouldn’t care for being a commoner. He’d have to find work as a sellsword and establish a little wealth, then send for her. But what would he do with Lyanna? She could find someone to marry easily enough, someone who would take care of her. But what if she didn’t do that? If she didn’t want to marry Rhaegar, who could possibly make a woman like that happy? Jaime wrestled with the problem for a long while. He couldn’t make sense of it. 

“Are you ever going to tell me why you’re running away?” He said interrupting her reading. 

She seemed startled by the question. “Perhaps…” 

“Just tell me, did he abduct you as Robert claimed or did you go willingly?” Jaime asked her. 

“It wasn’t as simple as that.” Lyanna said, a blush on her cheeks. 

“It wasn’t a difficult question. Either he abducted you or he didn’t. You Starks really are easily confused.” 

Lyanna shut the book and placed it on the bed between them. “I wasn’t dragged away forcibly if that’s what you mean….” 

“So you went willingly?” 

“I didn’t know what I was doing.” Lyanna didn’t know why she was being this open with him. She supposed he probably wasn’t going to stop asking unless she told him the truth of it so she might as well get the truth over with. “I was a maiden. I’d never even kissed a man before. The prince of the seven kingdoms crowned me queen of love and beauty. Then he came to me afterwards and kissed me and told me he wanted me, how was I supposed to react?” 

“I don’t understand. You went with him willingly and now you don’t want to marry him? Something changed between a year ago and today.” Jaime said. 

“Yes something changed. My father and brother were killed because I left. How many people died in the war because I left? And I don’t think he ever cared for me anyway. He only wanted me to help him fulfill a prophecy… he said I would be the mother of the Prince that was promised… even if it wasn’t insanity on his part, a marriage can not be built on so much death...and lies…” She said sadly. 

Jaime sighed. Her reasoning did almost make sense. He had been there when Rickard and Brandon Stark had died. Lyanna wasn’t truly responsible for that, Aerys was. Yet he could see why she wouldn’t be able to marry Rhaegar without feeling guilt at what had happened to them. 

She seemed to guess his thoughts. “Were you there when my father and brother…?” 

“I was.” Jaime admitted. 

“No one will tell me what truly happened to them.” 

“Neither will I. It was a horrible thing. The details will not help you.” Jaime told her. 

Lyanna only nodded. “I thank you Ser...for killing him…” 

Jaime knew that she meant Aerys. “It’s strange that you should say that. Your brother didn’t offer any thanks.” 

“I am not my brother. He still has his honor and I have none.” She said sadly. “It does me good to know that there was at least some justice for what was done to Brandon and Father… I can never erase my part in their deaths… but at least Aerys is dead.” 

“I didn’t exactly kill him to avenge the Starks.” He told her honestly. 

“I didn’t expect you did. I assume it had something to do with your father marching on the city.” Lyanna said without judgement. 

“Aerys ordered me to kill my father. And he ordered the city burned by wildfire, everyone was to be burned, men, women, children…” He said, disturbed at the memory. 

“That’s horrible… why didn’t you tell Rhaegar this?” 

“I killed his father and I was sworn to protect him. Do you really think it would have made any difference?” Jaime asked her.   
“I don’t know. Rhaegar was more inclined to be merciful than not.” 

“It doesn’t matter now. If he ever catches up to us now I doubt that mercy will be an option any longer.” 

It was almost time for the evening meal. Jaime and Lyanna ate with the other passengers and sailors then returned to their room.


	7. Chapter 7

Lyanna found it difficult to fall asleep that night. The bed wasn’t particularly large and Jaime was closer than she would have liked him to be. Not only that, but her mind was filled with worries about getting caught by the king’s men, and worries about her son Jon Snow. Was he being taken care of at Winterfell? Did Catlyn hate him because of the lie Ned had promised to tell? Would the boy wonder all his life if his mother was dead or if she had abandoned him? What if she had made the wrong decision? Maybe Rhaegar was right and Jon was the promised prince. Would sending him to be raised by his uncle make any difference if the prophecy was true or would it just come true no matter what she did? If it was true, then the world was headed for a dark time and the promised prince would help save everyone. But if this was just a matter of Rhaegar trying to make it true then she knew she had done the right thing in that case. Except she couldn’t be sure what the truth really was. And she couldn’t stop wishing to hold her baby just one more time. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until she felt Jaime’s hand on her shoulder. 

“Are you alright, Lyanna?” He asked her gently. He didn’t know why she was crying and they weren’t exactly close friends yet, but he wasn’t so cold hearted that he could just ignore her either. 

“I’m fine I just…” 

“You’re not fine, not unless you Starks just cry for the fun of it” Jaime said. 

“I miss my baby...I want my baby boy…” She said with a sob. 

Jaime was at a loss for what to do. There was nothing he could say that would help her. There was nothing he could do that would help her either. Before he could think of anything helpful she was speaking again. 

“I want to go back and get him. I know I can’t. It would be too dangerous, but I want to.” Lyanna was saying. 

Had she lost her mind, Jaime wondered. Why would she want to bring her dead son with her? “Perhaps you could send for him later?” Jaime suggested. He would say anything at this point to get her calm again. Crying women were not his strong suit. 

“I don’t think Ned would send him. Not after what I made him do.” 

“Wait, your son is buried with the Starks not the Targaryens?” Jaime asked. 

Lyanna turned to face him. “You must think I’m insane.” She said. 

“The thought had crossed my mind.” Jaime admitted. 

“My son is not dead. I made Ned hide him for me. He told his wife that the child was his bastard.” Lyanna said. 

“What? Why?” 

“Because I don’t want Rhaegar to raise him. When it comes to that prophecy, I’m not sure that Rhaegar is entirely sane. No child should be raised to be the warrior who saves the world. I told Rhaegar that the baby was stillborn and I can never see my child again if he is to believe it.” 

“Gods..” Jaime breathed. He didn’t know what he would have done in her place. It would be a difficult decision for anyone. “At least you know that he’ll be taken care of. Ned will raise him well, won’t he?” 

Lyanna nodded. “He will. Catlyn will hate him though. Jon will never have a mother.” 

“I didn’t have a mother either.” Jaime said sadly. “At least not for a long time. It wasn’t ideal but I survived. He will too.” 

“I know… thank you…” She said and a short time after that she fell asleep.


	8. Swordplay

Lyanna hadn’t meant to reach for Jaime in the night. She would have never done such a thing if she’d been awake. When she had first run away with Rhaegar she had enjoyed sleeping in his arms. There was something warm and comforting and about sleeping in a man’s arms that some part of her had missed in spite of everything that had happened. She woke up in Jaime’s arms and her first thought was that she was back with Rhaegar. She pulled away alarmed. Then she saw that it was Jaime and breathed a sigh of relief, letting her head fall back to the pillow. 

Jaime had already been awake before she was. Lyanna had rolled closer to him three times in the night. The first two times he had moved away from her. The third time he could move no further without falling off the edge of the bed. He wasn’t so gallant that he would sleep on the floor so he gave her the hug she seemed to want and went back to sleep. He had never slept with a woman in his arms before. Cersei had always been afraid of them getting caught and had never allowed them to stay in the same bed for so long. He hadn’t expected that waking up with Lyanna Stark in his arms would be so interesting. She was rather pretty. Her body was pressed close enough to his that he could feel all of her curves. He gently pushed her hair out of her eyes so that he could see her face without waking her. Then he rested his hand on her hip and watched her sleep. He wondered for a moment what it would be like to kiss her. He wasn’t going to kiss her, he just wondered what it would be like. Then she was waking up and the moment passed. She had seemed alarmed at first then relaxed. He didn’t know what to make of that. He didn’t ask. 

The tiny window near the ceiling of their room made it clear that it was early morning. The sun hadn’t even fully risen yet. It was too early for breakfast. They each left to go to the privy and find a washbasin. When Jaime returned he found Lyanna reaching for the book she’d had the previous day. 

“Please not that again.” Jaime protested. 

“You don’t like Aegon the Conquerer?” 

“No one likes Aegon the Conquerer, especially not those he conquered.” 

She sighed. “I don’t like him either. I was just trying to pass the time.” 

“You don’t like Aegon or you don’t like books?” He said, sitting down beside her on the bed. 

“I like some books better than others. I prefer keeping busy over reading.” She said. 

“I prefer the same. Though I expect you keep busy doing something other than sparring and the like.” 

“You might be surprised.” She leaned over and reached the sack of things she had brought. She pulled out a sword, a smaller lighter sword than the one she had given him but a fine blade nonetheless. 

“You know how to use this?” He asked. She had been right. He was surprised. 

“Well enough.” She said. “We could go up on deck and put it to the test.” 

“We could, as long as you promise not to cry when I beat you.” Jaime said. 

“What makes you think you’re going to beat me.” Lyanna said, though she knew he probably would win. 

“There’s this thing called skill. I’ve been told I have an abundance of it.” 

“Who told you this? Some little kitchen wench who wanted to share your bed?” 

“I could name several knights who I’ve beaten if it helps.” Jaime went on. 

“I’ve beaten a few knights myself.” Lyanna told him, though she didn’t mention that it was a jousting contest not a swordsmanship one. 

“Really? I should have liked to have seen that.” He commented. 

“You did. I was the knight of the laughing tree at Lord Whent’s Tourney.” 

“That was you?” Jaime was stunned. “I admit you were good with a lance, but you can’t be good with both lance and sword.” 

“Of course I can.” Lyanna stated. 

They found a space on deck to spar. Jaime discovered right away that Lyanna wasn’t bad with a sword but she wasn’t good either. She was certainly better than any commoner who hadn’t been trained with a blade and he expected she was probably good for a woman though he had never fought a woman before, but she couldn’t beat him. He was just fine with that too. He didn’t like being beaten. 

“Not bad.” He said after she yielded the fifth match. 

“Not bad?” She said, annoyed. 

He shrugged. “I suppose Rhaegar told you that you were very good?” 

She glared at him. “No. He said it was very good of me to try. He liked to see people try to improve themselves.” 

“How honorable of him.” Jaime said. “He could have just told you the truth.” 

“What truth is that?” She asked, knowing full well that she wouldn’t like the answer. 

“That you don’t have the strength or the reach to beat a man with a sword.” Jaime said. 

“You think I don’t know that already?” Lyanna said with disbelief. 

“Why else would you be doing this if you don’t hope to win?” 

“Because I like it. I like the feel of the blade in my hand. I like the challenge of trying to predict the next blow, of trying to be quick enough to take my opponent off guard. And I like to have at least some idea of how to put up a fight rather than be completely helpless like most women.” Lyanna told him. 

Once again, Lyanna Stark had surprised him. “We could do this again tomorrow. If we keep practicing you’ll certainly improve yourself.” 

Lyanna smiled at his suggestion. “Alright. I think I’d like that.”


	9. Feelings

When Lyanna woke in Jaime Lannister’s arms for the second morning in a row she wasn’t alarmed or startled this time. She remembered where she was and who she was with and felt no need to pull away from him. It was actually kind of nice being near him. Maybe he was irritating at times but had done nothing to try to manipulate her the way Rhaegar had. He had seen the way she’d looked at him when he’d taken his shirt off and if he had wanted to take advantage of her, he could have. Rhaegar would have done so. She felt guilty for taking comfort in the closeness. It was her wanton nature that had caused her father and brother to die, that had forced her to leave everyone else that she loved behind. And here she was cuddled up next to a handsome man the first chance she got. Lyanna forced herself to gently pull away from him, tears in her eyes. 

“Lyanna?” Jaime was awake and had noticed her tears. 

“I’m sorry...I should go…” She fled the room and went to the privy. The privy was just a small closet of a room with a chamber pot that needed to be dumped overboard daily. It took her a little while to compose herself enough to return to him. 

Jaime could see that she had been crying when she returned to him. He didn’t ask her why. He assumed it probably had a lot to do with the people they had left behind. If he had been the type of person to cry, he would probably be crying now too. He had left everyone behind too. She sat down on the bed next to him, unsure what to do with herself. Wanting offer at least a little comfort, because he had come to at least like Lyanna Stark in the last few days, he reached over and put his hand on hers. 

Lyanna hadn’t meant to take comfort in his touch. She didn’t want to. And yet she felt a sense of relief at his touch and in his nearness. As soon as she recognized it she was filled with renewed guilt which set off a flood of silent tears. 

“Lyanna?” Jaime asked for the second time that morning. “What’s going on with you? Are you homesick or is it something else?” 

She didn’t answer him but she did gently pull her hand from beneath his. She couldn’t allow herself to feel anything positive for him. If she let him comfort her then what was to stop her from wantonly throwing herself at him later? She had to keep him distant. 

Jaime was a little hurt that she had rejected his gesture but not terribly so. She was still a bit of a mystery to him so she might have very well meant nothing by it. “Well if you don’t want to talk, perhaps you’d rather spar?” He asked. She agreed to that. 

In the following days, Lyanna and Jaime fell into a routine of sparring, meals, reading, then sleeping. Most mornings they woke up embraced. At first it had been Lyanna who sought Jaime in her sleep but after a time he reached for her too. She felt exceedingly guilty about it, guilty because she liked it and guilty because she felt she didn’t deserve to feel any of those sorts of feelings ever again. Not after what they had caused the last time. Jaime began to feel guilty too. He had never wanted any woman other than Cersei. He had been drawn to other women sometimes but he had never wanted them, not truly. He had always believed that no other woman could compare to her anyway. Now waking up with Lyanna pressed close to him every morning he was starting to lose faith in the idea that there was no woman in the world for him but Cersei. Even so, he was not going to be unfaithful to Cersei. All he was doing was sleeping next to another woman. And hugging her close to him every night. And sometimes when she was asleep he would rest his hand on the curve of her breast or her hip. He would never take it further than that, his guilt wouldn’t allow him to. 

Nearly a month had passed and they were nearly across the narrow sea. Lyanna dreamt of Rhaegar as she often did. His hand was resting on her breast and he was kissing her, his tongue was in her mouth and his manhood was inside her and it all felt so blissful, she was calling out his name. Then she awoke. Jaime was awake and was looking at her strangely. Then she realized that one of his hands were resting on her breast and his breathing was quickened. 

“You miss him?” He asked her huskily. “I heard you call out his name.” 

“I miss the way he made me feel.” She told him honestly. 

“I miss someone too.” Jaime admitted. 

“Who was she?” Lyanna asked. It might have shocked her at one time that a knight of the king’s guard would have a mistress but no any more. 

Jaime removed his hand from her breast before answering but Lyanna grabbed his hand and put it back where it had been on her body. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not knowing why. If she hadn’t wanted him to touch her then she wouldn’t have grabbed his hand and put it back. 

She nodded. “I’d let you touch me anywhere.” 

Those words sent a jolt of arousal through him and before either of them could think it through they were kissing passionately. It was Lyanna who broke off the kiss, though Jaime had wanted to. 

“We can’t…” She began breathlessly. 

“I know.” He agreed. “I’ll sleep on the floor after this.” He told her. It would better for both of them that way.


	10. Braavos

Braavos was a very different city from Kings Landing. It smelled different, looked different, the people even looked different. Not just in the way they dressed but in the way they talked and carried themselves. Lyanna wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. She stuck close to Jaime as they got off the ship. It was hard not to. She was worried that Rhaegar might have anticpated where they they had gone and had people ready to capture them as soon as they set foot onto shore. There was no one waiting for them when they reached shore. 

“How much gold do you have?” Jaime asked her as they waked though he knew not where. 

“Enough. I didn’t count it. It was several handfuls of gold coins.” 

He stopped. “You stole from the king or from your brother?” 

“From the king. I wouldn’t steal from my brother. I didn’t want to steal from the king. I didn’t see any other way.” 

“I suppose there wasn’t. We should take it to the iron bank. It’s too dangerous to carry money around here.” Jaime said. 

After they had visited the Iron Bank, Jaime and Lyanna found an inn to stay in for the night. They each took a turn having a bath and then took a meal in the common room with all the other guests.   
“We need to find out any news of the seven kingdoms that we can find here.” Jaime said as they ate. It was some sort of meat and fruit dish that neither of them had ever tasted before. When the barmaid came to pour more drinks for them Jaime spoke to her. “Can you tell us if there is any news from the seven kingdoms? We just came from across the narrow sea…” 

“What sort of news are you looking to hear? We don’t follow much of the happenings over there. I can only tell you that your Targaryen king is taking a new wife.” She said. 

“But I thought she ran away?” Lyanna asked. 

“Not that wife. He says that if he ever finds her then he’ll have two wives. In the meantime he’s taking some Lannister woman as a wife.” The bar woman told them. 

“Cersei?” Jaime asked, blanching white. 

“That sounds like the name. I heard a fortnight ago that they were to be married. Could be the wedding has already taken place by now.” The woman went on. 

“Rhaegar will be kind to her.” Lyanna told him as the barmaid went away. 

Jaime couldn’t answer her. He found that he couldn’t speak. He had always known that Cersei would eventually marry. He hadn’t known it would hurt this much when she did. She probably only agreed to it for the chance to be queen, but Lyanna was right, Rhaegar would be good to her. He would be good enough that she would learn to forget him. He looked up and saw that Lyanna was crying. It probably disturbed her that Rhaegar had been able to set her aside so quickly. He reached across the table and took her hand. She took her other hand and reached for both of his hands. It was all they could do.


	11. Reality

Jaime bruised his fists that night by punching the wall as soon as they had gone back to their room. He had made four or five good blows before Lyanna caught his arm and pulled him away from the wall. 

“Jaime you have to stop this!” She told him as she pulled him away. Then she noticed that he had tears in his eyes. 

“I need some air. Lock the door while I’m gone.” He said and walked away. 

She worried for him while he was gone and she wondered why he was so upset over his sisters marriage. Rhaegar was not a cruel man. It seemed like he should be happy for his stster. She would be queen and from everything he had said about her on their journey it sounded like Cersei was attrackted to wealth and power. Yet Jaime did not seem happy for Cersei at all. It seemed more like he was jealous. No. She didn’t want to believe something like that. She didn’t want to believe it and it was the only explanation that made sense. 

He finally returned to her late into the night. She got out of bed to unlock the door and let him in. He looked worse than he had when he’d left. His knuckles were more bruised, his blonde hair was a mess. He went to the bed and pulled one of the blankets off to sleep on the floor. Lyanna sat on the edge of the bed and watched him try to arrange the blanket to his liking. 

“If I ask you a question will you answer it honestly?” She asked him. 

Jaime stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. “I’ll try to,” He finally said. 

“Why does your sister’s marriage upset you? If I didn’t know better..” She couldn’t finish. She couldn’t accuse him of that without more evidence. 

“If you didn’t know better, what?” 

“It seems like you’re jealous.” She made herself say it. 

Jaime didn’t deny it. He didn’t say a word. 

Lyanna clamped a hand over her mouth. “Then it’s true? She was the person you left behind?” 

Jaime nodded. “If you want me to leave after this, I will.” 

“Why would I want you to leave?” 

“Most people would say I was disgusting.” He said. 

Lyanna got down from the bed and onto her knees next to where he sat on the floor. She reached for one of his hands. “You’ve hurt yourself. Let me help with this.” She was able to reach the wash basin from where she was and she began to wash and bandage his hands. 

“Why are you doing this? I thought you’d send me away as soon as you knew.” Jaime asked her as she finished. 

“I can’t claim to understand how you feel about your sister. I can’t claim that I approve. But you’re the only friend I have in this place and I’ll not send you away over it.” Lyanna told him. 

After that Lyanna climbed back into bed and fell into a restless sleep.


	12. Comfort

Jaime didn’t find it any easier to sleep than Lyanna did. It had occurred to him at some point that evening that Cersei being married was likely his fault. His father had probably given Cersei to Rhaegar as a result of his escape. Tywin would have been forced to do something to maintain relations with the king after all the offense that Jaime had caused. Giving Rhaegar Cersei as a wife was the most obvious course of action. Had he not escaped, had he waited for his father or Cersei to get him out another way, it might have never come to this. It was that knowledge that kept him awake. That and the fact that Lyanna had given every indication that Rhaegar was a good lover. She had never said so outright, but her dreams, sometimes she spoke of him in her sleep. When they had shared a bed Lyanna had called out for Rhaegar and reached for him. It had been as disconcerting as it was alluring. He didn’t know many details of what had happened between them but he knew that if she still longed for him as a lover, even after she had risked so much to leave him, then the man was definitely a rival for Cersei’s affection. She wouldn’t just be doing her duty by Rhaegar. She would enjoy him. At least that was what he was afraid would happen. 

He had wanted to bring her to Essos someday. If she was a Queen she couldn’t and probably wouldn’t leave all that behind for him. He had asked her to run away with him many times before he joined the kingsguard and even a few times after, she had never wanted to give up her highborn comforts for him. She wouldn’t give up being a Queen for him. She cared for him he knew, but probably not as much as he cared for her. The realization of that made him angry all over again. He couldn’t sleep he got up and paced the room as quietly as he could so as to not wake Lyanna. She woke in spite of his efforts. 

Lyanna got out of bed and went to him. She stood in front of him and gently placed one hand on his chest. “You need to sleep.” She told him firmly but gently. 

“I can’t.” He choked out the words. 

“Then you take the bed. Maybe it will help.” She suggested. 

He hesitated. “I can’t make you sleep on the floor.” He said. 

“Then sleep next to me. I promise I’ll behave this time.” She said with a small smile.  
He nodded and climbed into bed after her. When they had shared a bed on the ship they had always gone to sleep on their own sides of the bed. Jaime didn’t even bother with the pretense this time. As soon he was lying down he reached for Lyanna and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. She didn’t seem to mind. In fact she nuzzled just a little closer to him and soon fell asleep. He watched her sleep for a while and soon after that sleep found him as well. 

Lyanna found that it was good to wake up in Jaime’s arms again. It didn’t stop her from feeling guilty as usual but she still liked being near him as much as she had before. Her guilt was multiplied by her knowledge of his relationship with his sister but not enough to make her leave. Jaime had gotten far less sleep than she had and he remained asleep for a long time after she woke. She could have pulled away from him and gotten up but she didn’t want to. She wanted to hang onto this feeling for as long as she could. 

Jaime awoke late that morning and found Lyanna was still in his arms, awake and studying his face. 

“We’ll never see them again will we, Rhaegar or Cersei?” Jaime said, reaching over and brushing her hair out of her eyes with his thumb and leaving his hand to rest on her cheek.

“No, we won’t.” She said sadly. “I don’t want to see him anyway. He’s too confusing. But you do want to see her?” 

“I thought I did. I thought I would send for her after a while, when I had enough money and you either found employment or a husband. It was a futile dream. She won’t give up being queen for me. She’s always been fascinated with Rhaegar. She won’t give him up either. I know that and I accept it and yet…” He couldn’t finish the thought. 

“And yet it still hurts.” Lyanna finished for him. 

Jaime nodded. 

“I don’t want to see Rhaegar and I didn’t want to marry him and it still hurts that he could marry so quickly.” Lyanna admitted sadly. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you all alone last night to face that.” Jaime said. 

“You didn’t. Not for long anyway. You came back here and you held me while I slept...I’ve missed that.” She said, a few tears slipping from her eyes. 

“I’ve missed it too.” He admitted. “But I didn’t want to...I felt guilty…” 

She nodded, understanding. “So did I.” 

“Why?” He asked, not sure what she could possibly have to feel guilty about. 

“Because of how I feel. The last time I felt like this and followed it through a lot of people died...I don’t deserve…” Lyanna was too choked up to finish the thought. Her tears were falling faster now. 

Jaime moved his hand so that he could brush away her tears. “Lyanna...that isn’t true...you didn’t deserve what Rhaegar did to you. He shouldn’t have made you believe he cared for you when he only needed someone to carry his child. You weren’t wrong to fall for him. You have every right to feel whatever you want to feel. There is no wrong in it.” 

“Thank you.” She whispered. “I think I needed to hear that.” 

He leaned a little closer and kissed her on the forehead. He had planned to leave it at that but she reached up and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was warm but brief. Jaime gently pulled away from her. “We should get up. I need to try to find work today.” 

Lyanna agreed and they got out of bed to face the day.


	13. Commoners

All day as they walked in the city Lyanna’s mind was filled with regret. She shouldn’t have kissed him. She had liked kissing him but she shouldn’t have done it. He was still mourning the loss of his lover to another man. And though she would never understand how he could love his own sister like that it had still been an unfair thing to do. She had only meant it in an affectionate comforting way but maybe he wouldn’t see it like that. Maybe she hadn’t even been thinking clearly herself. She didn’t really know how she felt about him. She knew she was drawn to him. She found him attractive and enjoyed being near him. She liked his wit and she liked that he didn’t treat her as inferior because she was woman, not like most men did anyway. He was irritating and arrogant at times but that had been the worst fault she could find with him until he had revealed the truth about Cersei. It had disgusted her to some degree but she had tried not to let it show. He was the only friend she had in this terrifying city and she didn’t want to do anything to push him away. Then when she had found him pacing the floor in the middle of the night he looked so lost that she mostly only felt compassion for him. Whatever had happened between him and Cersei was over now. There was no sense in letting it bother her any longer. She had decided then to try not to think about it. And she had nearly succeeded with that, she succeeded long enough to kiss him. Now she just felt like a silly stupid maiden who was only throwing herself at him because she was lonely and he was there. Except that it wasn’t as simple as that. It wasn’t simple at all. 

Jaime could see that Lyanna was lost in thought about something. He didn’t press her to find out what it was. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He didn’t want to dwell on what Lyanna Stark might be thinking. He didn’t want to think about her at all. Her presence was distracting. He held her hand to keep from losing her in the crowd and even the warmth of her hand was distracting. 

They talked to many people in the city that day. Jaime found out where the sellsword companies were located and he found out about several wealthy merchants who were looking for household guards. If he had a choice, he would rather be a household guard. The first two merchants that they visited had already found someone to fill the position. The third had not. The merchant, named Milo, wasn’t sure he wanted a Westerosi swordsman when the Braavosi style was clearly superior. 

“Let me prove my worth.” Jaime said, though he had introduced himself as Yoren. “I’ll fight one of your Braavosi swordsman and you can see for yourself.” 

Milo thought for a moment, scratching his scraggly beard. “Nychos!” He called out. A young dark haired man came running. “I would like you to spar with this man and show him that the Westerosi knights know nothing of swordsmanship.” 

At that, they all followed Milo outside. He took them past the elaborate flower gardens to an open area outside. Jaime and Nychos went out to the center of the open area and the match began. Lyanna tried to watch but Milo kept speaking with her as the pair fought. 

“How long have you been married to him, Ava?” He asked. 

“Not long.” She didn’t want to give a specific amount of time in case Jaime was asked the same question later. 

“He is good.” Milo commented as he watched the fight. “I would think it would be hard for a Westerosi woman to be in a strange country. You must feel much safer being married to someone like him.” 

“Of course.” She said. She wasn’t sure she liked where the conversation was going. “If you think he is good, does that mean you will hire him?” 

“That depends… hiring a married man means that I will be adding two people to my household not just one, maybe more if you have children. Do you have any skills to contribute?” 

Lyanna didn’t like the way he had asked the question. She didn’t like the way Milo looked at her but she answered the question anyway. “I can sew, cook, wash laundry, play the harp, just as most highborn ladies.” She told him. 

“That was not the sort of skills I was speaking of.” Milo was standing closer to her now, too close. 

Lyanna swallowed and glanced over to where Jaime was busy fighting the Braavosi swordsman. It was going well, he wasn’t losing, but it was taking all of his concentration to win and he didn’t even see what was going on with Lyanna. 

“So tell me lovely girl,” Milo touched her face and pulled her gaze away from Jaime to look at him, “Do you have the skills I am seeking?” 

Lyanna took a step back away from him. “No I don’t.” She said, shaken. 

“What a pity. I’m afraid I will not be able to hire your husband then.” Milo said with mock sadness. 

The fight lasted a long while but in the end Jaime beat the Braavosi. He came over to where Lyanna and Milo stood, sweaty and out of breath but clearly happy that he had won. 

“It was a good fight Yoren but I am afraid I will not be able to hire you.” Milo said. 

“What? Why not? I beat your man…” Jaime protested. He was unused to being humble or asking for employment or he might have thought to handle it differently. 

“Indeed you did. You gave him good practice. But I still can not hire you.” 

“Fine. Let’s go Ava, there are other places I can find work.” Jaime said, angry. 

“If you are speaking of Horam Mott or Pygor Norelli, I can tell you that they will not hire a Westerosi no matter how good you are.” Milo told them. “They hate westerners.” 

“It’s no matter. I can take work as a sellsword.” Jaime said, taking Lyanna’s arm to walk away. 

“And leave your lovely wife all alone while you’re gone on a campaign?” Milo said. 

Jaime looked worriedly to Lyanna then back to Milo. “What are you suggesting?” 

“I can not hire you alone but perhaps I could hire you both to work for my household, that is if Ava has any skills that are useful to me?” Milo said. 

Lyanna knew what he was doing. Milo was making it clear that she needed to accept his offer now and keep quiet about it because he would not make it again even if they failed to find work elsewhere. If Jaime left her to take work as a sellsword she would surely be in for a worse fate than she would by staying here. She didn’t want to stay here. She didn’t want to be this man’s mistress or whore or whatever he would have her be. They had enough money to last a while longer while they looked for better work but it wouldn’t last forever. Milo was right in that the people here didn’t seem to like Westerners. Turning this offer down could mean they would eventually starve… but she still couldn’t so it. Lyanna struggled to calm her panicked breathing. 

“Are you alright?” Jaime asked noticing her strange reaction. 

She nodded then looked to Milo. “I already told you, I don’t have any of those sorts of skills.” 

Jaime understood what had happened right away and was filled with anger. He took a step closer to Milo. He didn’t know what he planned to do. He hadn’t even thought that far ahead yet. Lyanna caught his arm before he could act. 

“Yoren! We need to leave!” She told him. 

He stopped and allowed her to lead the way out of the gardens and back to the streets.


	14. Godswood

Jaime was still angry for long after they left Milo’s villa. The idea of anyone touching Lyanna had made him furious. It wasn’t just because of the complete vulgarity of what MIlo had suggested, though that would have been bad enough in itself, it was because he cared for her that it bothered him so much. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself before then. He hadn’t even wanted to admit it to himself when she had kissed him that morning. He knew now that even if Cersei could have been convinced to agree to come to Essos, he would never be able to go through with his plan to see Lyanna married to someone else. He wanted her too much for himself to ever let that happen. Maybe she wouldn’t want him now that she knew about Cersei but he at least had to try. 

They visited several more wealthy citizens of Braavos who were rumored to be hiring guards. Two told them that they didn’t need anyone anymore. Three told them that they were considering someone else and to come back at the end of the week for a decision. Then while Jaime spoke to a wealthy merchant in his garden about a job, Lyanna noticed a child playing the harp on the patio nearby. It was a young girl, perhaps seven or eight years of age. She would play a few notes, then stop, struggling to find the next one. Lyanna approached her with a friendly smile. 

“I can help you with that if you like.” She told the girl. “My name is Ava.” 

“I am Dorella. I can never get the notes right.” She said sadly. 

“It’s like this.” Lyanna showed the girl how to play the song and soon she was playing it without difficulty. 

Jaime and the man who owned the villa approached her. 

“I see you have charmed my daughter into finally playing that song.” The man said. His name was Belaro. 

“I just helped a little.” Lyanna said. 

“Do you know how to read and write as well as play the harp?” Belaro asked. 

“I do, yes.” Lyanna told him. 

“Good. Then I will hire you both. My daughter needs a tutor and I need another guard. You will have a room in the villa, three meals a day, and wages each week. I do not pay as much as Horam Mott but I also do not allow my home to be turned into a brothel like Milo Topatis. If you chose to stay here you will be treated fairly as long as you work faithfully. If you try to steal from me or become lazy, I have been known to throw my employees out on the street without pay, but that is the worst that you can expect from me.” Belaro told them and he sounded as if he were being honest about it. 

“Sounds fair enough to me.” Jaime said. Lyanna nodded her agreement. 

“You are staying at an inn somewhere?” Belaro asked them. 

“Yes. The Red Dragon it was called.” Jaime told him. 

“Then go back there tonight. Come back tomorrow and your room will be ready for you here and your work can begin.” Belaro said. 

It was a long walk back to the inn. They had travelled far across the city that day. 

“That was easier than I thought it would be.” Lyanna finally said. 

“It was. I’m sure eventually we’ll find out why. If something seems too good to be true then it probably is.” Jaime said. 

They walked for a while in silence and then Lyanna saw something to her left that caught her attention and she stopped. “Look, a godswood.” 

Jaime followed her as she went into what looked like a garden in the middle of the city. It had a single huge weirwood tree in the center. Lyanna went slowly to the tree. She knelt down in front of it and reached out and touched the face, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry…” She whispered. She was too. She was sorry for everything she had caused and though she didn’t know if the gods were listening, she felt the need to try to repent if she could. “I’m sorry for what I did...for abandoning my honor… for running away...I’m sorry that I didn’t stay with my son...or with the man who wanted to marry me...it wasn’t the honorable choice to make...I don’t even know if it was the right one...I’m sorry…” Before she knew what was happening she found herself curled up at the trunk of the tree weeping. Jaime knelt down and sat down on the ground next to her. He reached for her and pulled her into his arms so that she was curled up on his lap. 

“I can’t speak for what the gods have to say, but if it helps, I forgive you.” Jaime told her. 

“It does help…” She said, her tears falling faster onto his shoulder. They stayed like that for a long while until she finally calmed. “It’s getting late, it’s almost dark, maybe we she go.” Lyanna said. 

“Not yet.” Jaime said. “There’s something I need to say first.” 

“I didn’t think you kept to the old gods.” Lyanna said. 

“I don’t. I don’t really keep any gods at all. I just think it will mean more to you if I say it here.” Jaime said, then fell silent. Lyanna didn’t seem to mind. She was relaxed in his arms, eyes closed. “You know that I care for you don’t you?” He finally said. 

Lyanna’s eyes popped open. “I suspected but…” 

“I want you to know that anything that happens after this is because I care for you. I don’t want anything from you, not a child, not the fulfillment of any prophecy, not even for you to replace anyone that I’ve lost...I only want you...will you allow me to care for you, to learn to love you?” He asked her, trying to hide how much it worried him that she might say no. 

Lyanna shifted in his arms so that she straddled his lap, her eyes never leaving his. Then when she had settled she whispered. “Yes.” 

He hadn’t intended to take her there under the heart tree. He had only intended to declare his intentions to her. Neither of them tried to stop what was happening. They had wanted one another for long enough that there was no stopping it anyway. They began to lose track of time the moment their lips met. They forgot that they were in the godswood and that the city streets were nearby. They forgot about Rhaegar and about Cersei. They forgot about everything except for the feeling of their bodies joined together. Together they felt whole. 

“Now we should go.” Jaime said, pulling on his tunic afterwards. It was dark in the godswood which Lyanna was thankful for or they might have been seen. They had probably been heard well enough as it was. 

She dressed and took his hand and they headed back towards the inn. They had almost reached the inn when suddenly she stopped, squeezing his hand as she did. “You do realize what just happened, taking me in the godswood like that?” 

He hadn’t realized it until she said it. “Does this mean we’re married now?” 

She nodded, but she was smiling. “By the laws of the old gods I think it does.”


	15. Six Years Later

It had helped to hold a baby again but Lyanna would always miss her firstborn. Baby Johanna wasn’t so much a baby anymore. She was five years old. There would be a new baby for her and Jaime in a few months. As much as she looked forward to another child, it still saddened her to think of Jon Snow. 

Jaime found her staring out the window into the gardens. His shift had ended for the day. He slipped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck as he did so. She sighed at the sensation. 

“Are you coming to the hall for dinner or would you rather stay here and be entertained?” He teased her with another kiss. 

She giggled. “As much as I’d like to stay, I really should eat.” 

“Alright.” He said letting her go. Then he turned to where Johanna was playing on the floor with a doll in the corner. “Come on you.” He said picking her up rather quickly. She squealed with laughter as he did so. 

They sat near the far end of the table with the rest of the servants and commoners. They had grown used to this end of the table over the years and had formed friendships with some of the people. Meals at Belaro’s table were always filled with gossip. Jaime and Lyanna always listened for news from across the sea. Anything about Starks or Lannisters got their interest. They knew by now that Cersei and Rhaegar had a son named Jaeharys. Ned had two children, Robert and Sansa. Jaime knew almost nothing of what his brother Tyrion was up to. There was no one he could even ask. 

“They are saying that King Rhaegar grows more and more ill each day.” Someone said further down the table. This had both Jaime and Lyanna’s attention. “He has taken to fits of coughing every day and has a high fever. The maesters don’t think he’ll last much longer.” 

“If he dies will Jaeharys be king?” Someone else asked. 

“He’s too young. Someone will have to rule in his stead.” Said the first man again. “Perhaps his Hand, the Tyrell fellow.” 

“If Rhaegar dies, do you think we could go back?” Lyanna whispered to Jaime beside her. 

“Maybe. You could. It would depend on how much the remaining Targaryens still hate me.” He said. 

She knew he was right. It would be far more dangerous for him in westeros than it would for her with Rhaegar gone. It was a futile hope. She would never see her son again. She knew she needed to accept it and be done with it and yet she couldn’t do that.


	16. Decision

Lyanna had woken up in her husband’s arms hundreds of times by now and yet the happy feeling that came with it had not changed in all these years. He had been good to her. He had grown to love her as he said he would and she had learned to love him as well. Working as part of Belaro’s household had been a good place for them. Belaro was a decent man. They had been fortunate to have a safe place to live and raise their child. Knowing that didn’t make Lyanna long to return to Westeros any less. 

Jaime half woke up and he pulled her closer and kissed her. She sighed into his mouth and returned the kiss. He ran his hands down her backside and then back up her body to grope her breasts. With the babe in her belly, she was more sensitive to his touch than usual and she couldn’t stop the cry of pleasure when he reached under her shift and entered her with his fingers. She reached for his manhood and found him hard and ready for her. She stroked him a few times all the while his hand was inside her and his tongue was in her mouth. They stayed like that for a long while just enjoying each other’s bodies. Then he moved on top of her and pushed himself inside her. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and her legs as well. She knew that soon the baby would be too big for him to be on top of her like this and she would miss having him here. She wanted to keep him close for a long as she could. He thrust into her again and again. It had become a desperate rhythm for both of them as they were both reaching for bliss. And they found it together, that pulsating intoxicating pleasure that they had only shared with each other for nearly six years. 

They stayed in the bed, a tangle of limbs, catching their breath for a little while. 

Jaime knew it the moment that the sadness had returned to her. He was able to make her forget for a little while but the memory always came back to her. She had tried to tell him that he was enough for her. She had tried to tell him she was happy here but he knew that she wasn’t. Lyanna wanted her son. She needed her son and until now there had been nothing he could do to fix that. 

“If Rhaegar dies we’ll go to Winterfell.” He said. 

She looked up at him startled at the words. “But how? What about the Targaryens?” She asked worriedly. 

“Fuck the Targaryens. They don’t need to know we’re visiting Winterfell. If Ned can lie about having a bastard son then he can lie about his sister’s visit. I can’t watch the pain in your eyes any longer. We’re going.” He said firmly. 

Trembling and crying, Lyanna reached for her husband and hugged him tightly. “Thank you…” She breathed. “Thank you…”


	17. Return

It wasn’t easy to explain to Belaro why they were leaving his service when the time came. Dorella was sad to see Lyanna go but she was a maiden now and about to be betrothed. She would soon be distracted enough to get over their departure. 

“Why now?” Belaro was saying. “Why is it that you need to see family in Westeros so suddenly? Most Westerosi who come across the narrow sea are here because they are running from something. I expected that you had secrets like the rest of them and I didn’t want to pry. I see that the death of your king has changed something for you. If I am to be bereft of your service and of your presence, the least you can do is tell me what it is you are really doing.” 

Jaime looked at each other and they each nodded, agreeing to tell him the truth. 

“My name isn’t Yoren.” Jaime told Belaro. “And hers isn’t Ava. We are both from noble houses. If we had returned before now I would have been executed and she would have been forced into an unwanted marriage. She left a son behind. It’s safer to go get him now than it ever was before….if we are forced to flee again, might we come back here?” 

“You can come back here but if you do I’ll want you to do it under your true names. No secrets the next time.” Belaro said. 

Lyanna couldn’t leave without telling him the full truth. She had done enough dishonorable things in her life that telling this man who had sheltered and employed them their true names seemed like such a small price to pay. “I am Lyanna of House Stark.” 

Belaro dropped his wine goblet to the floor. “Then you must be Jaime Lannister. The tales all claimed that you ran away on the same night.” 

“Yes.” Jaime answered him. 

Belaro began to laugh. “Seven hells… who would have thought that all this time...you made pretty good servants for being so highborn...yes, come back if you need to flee Westeros again. Come back as my guests.” 

Belaro gave them extra money for the trip. Jaime held both Johanna and Lyanna’s hands as they boarded the ship bound for Westeros. It was going to be a long trip for Lyanna. She had been waiting so long to see her son that every passing day of the journey was going to seem slower than the last. The three of them shared one tiny cabin room on the ship. Most nights their daughter slept between them. Twice they made a bed of blankets on the floor for her so that they could have the bed to themselves after she fell asleep. Both times she awoke and climbed back into bed with them just after they started kissing. 

After a time they reached White Harbor. The ship let off the passengers and they found a new ship that would take them upriver close to Winterfell. By the time the ship had gone as far north as they could go, Lyanna was heavy with child. Jaime was worried about her riding a horse the rest of the way but she assured him that she would be fine. She hadn’t ridden a horse in years but she hadn’t forgotten how either. She had loved riding horses once. It was good to be on one again. It was good to sit a horse in the north and be almost home again with her son. 

It was nearing nightfall on the day that they finally reached Winterfell. Lyanna burst into tears when she saw the towers in the distance. They were almost at the gates and Lyanna pulled her horse to a stop to speak to Jaime. 

“Perhaps you should let me speak to Ned first. He won’t be happy to see us together.” Lyanna said. 

“I was under the impression that Ned wasn’t ever happy about anything.” Jaime said. 

“Well he’s not exactly jolly, that’s true. Just let me speak to him, please.” 

“I will until he says something I don’t like.” 

“Jaime….please?” 

“Fine, I’ll try to stay quiet.” 

A guard came to the gates when they knocked. 

“I need to speak to Lord Stark.” Lyanna said. “Will you please tell him he has a guest who he’ll want to see?” 

“Who are you? Who am I to tell him is here to see him?” The guard said. 

“Just give him this. He’ll know who I am.” Lyanna handed over a single blue rose.


	18. Jon

A short time later the guard returned to them. It didn’t seem like a short time to Lyanna. It felt like she had waited an eternity to see her son and now she would have to wait for Ned, explain what she had been doing the past six years, and convince him to let her see her son. 

“Lord Stark will see you in his solar. I’ll show you the way.” The man said when he had returned to them. 

Lyanna knew the way but she said nothing about that to the guard. It was still better to not reveal their identity to Ned’s household at this point. Rumors could reach the remaining Targaryens if the wrong servant chose to tell someone. Lyanna dismounted her horse and Jaime managed to dismount his own horse while still hanging on to his sleeping daughter who had been riding with him. They followed the guard to Ned’s solar. 

Ned was alone in the solar pacing the room. He stopped when Lyanna entered it. His face was pale and he looked stricken at the sight of her. “Lyanna…” He choked out the words. 

Lyanna didn’t hesitate like Ned did. She went to her brother and hugged him. Jaime stood in the corner of the room, not speaking like she had asked of him, and still holding Johanna. There were tears in Ned’s eyes when he pulled away from Lyanna. 

“Where have you been?” Ned said but he didn’t give her a chance to answer. “They said that you ran off the same night as Jaime Lannister escaped. I didn’t want to believe it… but here you are still with him. Is the child you carry his?” 

“We went to Braavos Ned. I married Jaime and yes the child is his.” Lyanna told him. 

“Why?” Ned breathed the question. 

Lyanna looked down. She had been dreading this conversation. She knew there was no way she could make Ned understand and yet she needed to try. “Rhaegar never loved me….and you know what he wanted for Jon...I couldn’t marry him.” 

“You couldn’t marry him but you could give him your maidenhead?” Ned asked her.

Jaime almost said something then but Lyanna knew he would and she gave him a look reminding him not to. 

“I didn’t expect you would understand.” Lyanna told her brother. “I didn’t come here to try to justify my actions and I have no hope to regain the honor I have lost. I only came to see my son.” 

“And do what with him?” Ned asked warily. 

“After he has gotten to know me I could bring him back to Essos with me.” She suggested. 

“Then we will have to tell him the truth of his parentage. Catlyn will be both angry and relieved to hear of it.” Ned said. 

“Can I see him tonight?” Lyanna asked, trying to keep the anxiety from her voice and failing. 

“He is asleep.” Ned started to protest. 

“I’ll not wake him, only look at him.” Lyanna was nearly pleading. 

Ned nodded. “Alright. I’ll take you to him.” 

Both Jaime and Lyanna followed Ned to the part of the castle where Jon’s room was. 

“This is near the servants quarters.” Lyanna said as they walked. “Why is he not with family rooms?” 

The look Ned gave her was one of shame. “Cat would not have it...she would not have a bastard in the same rooms as her trueborn children.” 

Lyanna had known that Catlyn Tully would dislike Jon but she had not expected that he would be isolated from the family like this. They reached the room and Ned entered quietly and placed a candle on the bedside table. 

“Go ahead, sit with him a while.” Ned said. “I’ll bring Jaime and your daughter to your old room. They will be there when you are ready.” 

Lyanna went to the bedside to get a look at her little boy. He had a head of dark curly hair. Even in sleep he had a look of sadness about him. She knelt down next to the bed and took his hand in one of hers. She brushed her fingers through his dark curls of hair with the other hand. 

“I am so sorry…” She whispered. “I am so sorry...I will never leave you again…” 

She stayed there at his bedside for a long while silently weeping.


	19. Ned

Jaime would have been content to walk with Ned in silence. It would be easier that way not to say something Lyanna would dislike when she heard about it later. It was Ned who struck up the conversation as they walked to Lyanna’s room. 

“What is her name, your daughter?” Ned asked of the dark haired girl that Jaime carried. 

“Johanna.” He said. 

“She looks very much like Lyanna.” Ned said. 

“She has green eyes.” Jaime said, pointing out that there was at least a little of him in his daughter. “And she’s good with a sword.” He added with a grin. 

“You let your daughter play with swords?” Ned was quite horrified. 

“Only practice swords of course.” He said but Ned still seemed unhappy about that. 

“Perhaps things are different in Braavos.” Ned said, trying to be polite. 

“Not as different as you might think.” Jaime said, remembering Belaro’s initial disapproval when Jaime and Lyanna had allowed Johanna to play with a wooden sword. He had accepted it after a time. 

“Then why allow it?” Ned asked. “Why not teach your daughter to be a lady?” 

“Because if the Targaryens manage to take my head, I won’t be around to defend her. She needs to learn to use a sword. I’ll not leave her defenseless.” Jaime told him. 

Ned only nodded. He had not liked Jaime’s answer but it was an answer he could respect. 

“Are we there yet Father?” Johanna had woken to the sound of her father and uncle speaking. 

“We are.” He told her. 

“When do I get to ride a horse by myself?...mother promised…” The child was saying. 

“You still will, tomorrow.” Jaime told her. 

If he wasn’t mistaken, Jaime thought he saw the smallest hint of a smile on Ned’s face at what he had just heard. Johanna was already asleep again by the time they reached Lyanna’s room. Jaime placed her on the bed, kissed her on the forehead, and turned to say goodnight to his host. Ned was standing in the doorway looking at them with an odd expression. 

“I had thought that if I ever saw you again I would turn you over to Rhaella and her children for justice.” Ned said sadly. “It would be the right thing to do. But I have already soiled my honor once for Lyanna and I will do it again for her and for this child of hers. I will see to it that no one knows you are here.” 

Jaime was stunned. “Thank you.” He managed to say. Ned nodded and left him for the night.


	20. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter! I will try to address some of the things people have asked in the comments in more of my upcoming chapters. It might be a couple of days until I have a chance to post the next chapter. Thanks again for reading!

Lyanna hadn’t intended to fall asleep at Jon’s bedside but everytime she tried to get up and leave him she found that she just couldn’t do it. If Ned had not come and woken her just before dawn she might have stayed all night. 

“Lyanna?” Ned said, his hand on her shoulder. “You’ll hurt yourself. You need to go sleep in a real bed.” 

She nooded and stood, taking another look at Jon, hesitant to leave. 

“He’ll still be here in the morning, I promise you.” Ned said. “It’s better if you aren’t here when he wakes. He would be very confused..” 

Reluctantly, Lyanna followed her brother out into the hall and back towards her old bed chamber. 

“Give me until the noon meal to explain everything to Catlyn. After that, you and I will speak with Jon.” Ned told her. 

“Thank you Ned.” They had reached her room by then and she looked worriedly into the doorway. 

“Don’t trouble yourself about Jaime. I have no plans to make his presence here known. I will stick as close to the truth as I can though. The servants will remember you and we can not hope to lie to them. Your husband can be whoever you need him to be.” Ned said. 

“Yoren. That was the name he used in Essos.” Lyanna told him. 

Ned made a face, making it clear that he still disliked the falsity of it all. “Alright then. People will ask if you helped Jaime Lannister escape…most of our household will know who he is but they will not question it if I order them not to.” 

“I’m sorry Ned…” Lyanna said, she didn’t know what else to say. 

He sighed and shook his head. “Dear sister, you were always so impulsive, so reckless, but it doesn’t make me care for you any less. I will do what I must.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Get some sleep.” Ned said and left her there.


	21. Cat

Lyanna couldn’t sleep for long. She was too restless. After an hour or two she woke up and found that Jaime and Johanna were already awake and gone. She knew she had probably missed breakfast so she went straight to the kitchens to find some food. At least a few of the cooks would rememeber her. She could end up talking to them in the kitchen all day if she weren’t careful. What she saw when she came around the corner approaching the kitchen drove all thoughts of friendships with old servants right out of her mind. Catlyn Stark was standing over Jon Snow with a stern expression on her face. 

“I don’t care what Robb said. I am the lady of this house and you will not sit at that end of the table while we have guests!” Catlyn said angrily. 

Jon looked about ready to burst into to tears but he took a deep breath and held them back. “I’m sorry Lady Stark.” He said calmly. “Might I be allowed to get some breakfast anyway?” 

“No. You may go straight to your room.” Catlyn said. 

Lyanna knew she should hold back. She was always getting after Jaime for saying things he ought not to say but now it was her turn. “How dare you?” Lyanna said through gritted teeth. Both Jon and Cat looked over and saw her standing there. “How dare you treat him like that?” Her voice was raised, more angry than before. 

“Lyanna…” Catlyn said. “Ned told me you were here but I don’t see how this is any of your business.” 

“Why would you deny food to a child?” Lyanna said, realizing that Ned hadn’t told her yet. 

“It’s only for a few hours. It’s not as if Ned would let him starve. And again I don’t see why it’s any concern of yours.” Cat said, and moved as if to pass her in the hallway. 

“Because he’s my son!” Lyanna all but screamed at her. 

“That’s impossible…” Catlyn said, visibly pale. “Ned wouldn’t… his own sister?” 

“He was never Ned’s child! He was mine and Rhaegars’s!” Lyanna went on. “But even so didn’t it ever occur to you that he’s just a child...that he was some mother’s child… just like your own…?” Lyanna said, tears in her eyes. 

Catlyn was teary eyed herself, and stunned, she fled the hallway without another word. Jon was left standing there, looking up at wide eyed at this strange woman. 

“Is it true, you’re my mother?” He asked.  
“It’s true.” She answered, kneeling down to his level. 

“Where were you?” He asked her. 

“I was away in Essos. I did a horrible thing in not bringing you with me. I am so sorry for that. I’d like to take care of you now if you’ll let me.” Lyanna told him, worried every moment that he wouldn’t want that. 

“You’ll make Lady Stark be nice to me?” 

“I’ll do my very best.” She said. 

Tentatively he approached her and looked at her more closely. He reached out and touched a lock of her hair. “We have the same hair.” 

Lyanna nodded, more tears slipping out as she did. Then he hugged her and she knew it was going to be impossible to let him go.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Please forgive.
> 
> I have a pretty good idea where this story is heading and it might take a while to get it there. I hope to make more progress on it in the near future.

“I have come to a decision.” Ned Stark said from the head of the table in his solar. Lyanna and Jaime had been invited to join he and Catelyn there because he wanted to speak with them privately. “The past fortnight since you have arrived has been...difficult.” He began, 

Lyanna steeled herself for what was to come. She knew that Ned disliked having Jaime Lannister at Winterfell. He was putting his own family at risk by harboring him. Rhaella still held a great deal of power and though Jaime was still the brother of the Queen Regent, the young king was a Targaryen and Rhaella would not soon allow the Lannisters to supersede her wishes. Ned was going to ask them to leave. She had known that this moment was coming all along. She was willing to go and yet it still hurt immensely now that the moment had arrived. Jaime silently took her hand.

Ned looked to Cat as if unsure how to continue. She spoke for him. “Family is important. I haven’t seen my own father or my brother or sister in many years and though House Stark is my family now, I will never stop caring for my Tully family, which is why I understand why Ned must do as he is about to do.” 

“My father and mother are gone.” Ned spoke again. “My brother has gone to the Wall. I can not send away my only sister or her children. I can not.” 

Lyanna gasped, not realizing until that moment that she had been holding her breath. “But Ned… what about Jaime? If Rhaella finds out…” 

Ned nodded, his expression grim and pinched. “I am aware of the possibility, believe me. Which is why we are going to ask that you take certain precautions.” 

“Precautions?” Lyanna asked. 

“Jaime will continue to go by the name Yoren. If he would be willing to dye his hair a darker shade that would certainly help. He will not join tournaments or do anything that might draw attention to his abilities with a sword. If we have guests who might recognize him he will need to stay out of sight.” Ned told them. “I am sorry but I will make no exceptions on this.” 

Jaime nodded. “Sounds fair to me.” 

“Thank you Ned.” Lyanna said, giving her brother a hug. “I can not thank you enough for this.” 

Ned nodded uncomfortably. “I could not send you back to a foreign land or see your children raised anywhere but Winterfell.” He told her. 

A knock sounded at the door, interrupting their hug. Lyanna pulled away. “Enter.” Ned said. 

Maester Lewin entered the room. “A bird has arrived.” The Maester said a bit warily. “It is from Tyrion Lannister.” He passed the parchment in his hand over to Ned. 

“It has long been my ambition to visit all the great houses in the Seven Kingdoms.” Ned read aloud. “I have seen the crownlands and the westerlands and dorne. I will be leaving for the Riverlands in a fortnight and am most anxious to visit the north after that. Would House Stark be willing to accommodate one Lannister for a visit in three months time?” 

“He knows.” Catelyn said, pale faced. 

“He knows and yet his words are discreet.” Jaime pointed out. “Tyrion knows how to keep a secret.” 

“Are you sure of that?” Ned asked him. “Your brother will tell no one of your presence here?” 

“He will tell no one.” Jaime said firmly. 

“Even if that’s true,” Cat said, “If Tyrion arrives so soon after Lyanna, don’t you think people will suspect the truth?” 

“Perhaps…” Ned said, looking hesitant. “But if we refuse him a visit that will be suspicious as well.” 

“Then we should tell him to come, and invite Tywin as well.” Cat said.   
“Why would we do that?” Ned asked, slightly confused at her logic or lack of it. 

“Because if Rhaella is going to figure out the truth, we’ll need the Lannisters on our side. If we keep Jaime’s return a secret from Tywin he may take insult at that.” Cat said. 

Ned nodded. Then looked to Master Lewin. “Tell Tyrion he is most welcome to visit and invite Lord Tywin to come with him.” 

“Yes my lord.” Maester Lewin said as he ducked out of the room. 

“Well then, I suppose we must begin making preparations for guests.” Cat said, taking her leave as well. “Perhaps I could have your assistance?” She said to Lyanna. 

Lyanna seemed surprised but she agreed and went with her good sister as bidden. She didn’t ordinarily care for woman’s work or for making feast preparations but in this case, making preparations to meet her good father and good brother, she felt more apprehensive than usual. What if the Lannisters didn’t even like her?


	23. Worries

Lyanna had been sewing for hours. It had all been Catelyn’s idea. Cat had insisted that Lyanna, Jaime and Johanna needed suitable clothes in Lannister colors for Lord Tywin’s visit. They couldn’t wander about the castle wearing Lannister colors of course but they would wear them for private meals in the solar each evening of the visit. Cat had just been brimming with ideas all day for the upcoming visit even though the bird inviting Tywin had probably not even reached him yet. Hours of sewing… not Lyanna’s favorite way to spend an afternoon but she couldn’t complain. She was still so happy that Ned was allowing her and Jaime to stay at Winterfell she’d had little time to be upset about so much sewing. 

Lyanna looked up from her crooked stitches to see Cat gazing at her with disapproval. “Ned did warn me that you generally dislike sewing.” 

“It’s true.” Lyanna admitted. 

Cat leaned closer and examined the seam of the garment. “We’ll simply have to take them out and start again.” 

“It’s not that bad,” Lyanna protested. 

“Perhaps not bad for a maidservant or a ten year old girl but for Lady Lannister this simply will not do.” Lady Stark chided. 

Lyanna looked down at her sewing again. It truly wasn’t very good. “Lady Lannister?” She said in almost a whisper. “Surely no one expects me to be the lady of the Rock?” 

“Lyanna, you are the lady of the Rock. Perhaps you can not live there given that your husband is a wanted man but by law Casterly Rock will belong to your children someday. Lord Tywin will expect you to conduct yourself as Lady Lannister and you must not disappoint him.” 

Lyanna looked down at her sewing again, filled with apprehension and anxiety. It had never occurred to her that she was legally the lady of Casterly Rock or that she would be expected to impress Tywin Lannister with her sewing skills. Maybe he wouldn’t even notice or care. But Lyanna knew that he would care. Jaime had talked about his father sometimes, and about how much everyone had loved his mother. She had been a perfect lady. A perfect lady was something Lyanna didn’t know how to be. Lyanna set her sewing aside and stood. 

“I think I’ve had quite enough for today.” She said. “I should go check on Johanna and Jaime and Jon.” 

“Johanna is playing with Sansa and Jon is with Rob and Maester Lewin. Ser Jaime was attending to something in the stables. I’m sure they are quite alright.” Cat said. 

Lyanna shook her head. “Perhaps they are but I’m not.” She left Cat rather abruptly and headed for the stables. She found Jaime holding the bridle of a skittish horse while the stable master worked at putting a saddle on the beast. 

“Since when are you a horse trainer?” Lyanna asked her husband curiously. 

“Since they stopped letting me use a sword.” He said, turning to face her. “Something’s wrong.” He said on seeing her face. 

“Walk with me to the godswood?” She asked him. 

He nodded and handed the horse over to a servant. They walked in silence for a time. Jaime knew from experience that she would tell him whatever was troubling her when she was ready and not before. 

There was a chill in the air as they reached the godswood but in spite of the chill Lyanna stripped off her shoes and stockings and stepped into the water at the base of the heart tree. She turned to face Jaime as she pulled her dress and shift off over her head and tossed them onto dry ground nearby. Jaime watched her wide eyed. 

“Are you coming in? It’s quite warm.” She said and though the tone was meant to be seductive there was something sad in there as well. 

Jaime stripped off his clothes and joined her in the warm water. They went out just deep enough to sit with the water at their shoulders. Lyanna barely waited for Jaime to be settled before she straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him. It was the first moment they’d had alone in days and she did not hesitate to take advantage of it. Jaime returned her kiss longingly then gently pulled away. 

“You aren’t fooling me.” He said. “Something is still troubling you.” 

“It’s nothing really… just something Cat said.” Lyanna said sadly, leaning closer to rest her forehead against his. 

Jaime sighed. “Catelyn Stark says a lot of things. I wouldn’t have imagined you would take her seriously.” 

Lyanna was silent a moment. “She said that I am the rightful lady of Casterly Rock and implied that your father will be disappointed with me for not being a real lady.” 

Jaime pulled away just slightly to meet her eyes. “And this worries you?” 

She nodded. “A little. Your father and your brother might not like me at all.” 

“Tyrion will like you. My father doesn’t like anyone but if he is rude to you I will send him straight back to Casterly Rock and you’ll never need to speak to him again.” 

A smile played at Lyanna’s lips. “Truly, you would send your father away?” 

“Maybe.” Jaime said with a smile. 

“Maybe we should just leave, just take the children and go back to Essos. Then we’d never have to worry about getting Ned into trouble or meeting your father or….” 

Jaime didn’t let her finish speaking. He interrupted her with a kiss and she let him, gladly.


	24. Chapter 24

Lyanna and Jaime were told to wait in the Solar on the day when Lord Tywin and Tyrion finally arrived. Lyanna’s anxiety about the meeting had all but dissipated in recent days. Now it was Jaime who was anxious, He paced the room more worried than Lyanna had ever seen him. Ned and Cat had gone to the gates to meet their guests. They would bring them to the solar for a private meeting but that had been nearly an hour ago, probably one of the longest hours of Jaime’s life. 

They heard footsteps approaching, Then Ned’s voice. “I think you’ll find that Winterfell stays plenty warm in the winter even for Southern blood. We have water from the hot springs piped throughout the whole castle.” 

“So I have heard.” Lord Tywin said, not quite sounding impressed. They were just outside the door now. Jaime stopped pacing and Lyanna took his hand. 

“Lord Tywin, I must tell you that I have other guests waiting for you in my solar.” Ned said as he opened the door. 

Tywin stepped into the room and stopped short. “So it’s true.” He said on seeing his son. 

Tyrion pushed past his father and went to hug his brother. 

“I’ll leave you to speak alone.” Ned said. 

Tywin took a moment to gather himself and then he too gave Jaime a brief but firm hug. Then he turned to Lyanna. “You must be Lyanna Stark. I owe you my son’s life and as such am pleased to meet you.” 

Lyanna smiled and curtsied. “I am pleased to meet you my Lord.” 

“I can see why my brother was taken with you.” Tyrion told Lyanna, “But why you would run off with the likes of him is still a mystery to us. I do hope we’ll be allowed to hear the story.” Tyrion said, seating himself at the table and pouring a glass of wine. 

“Yes, do tell Jaime, how you managed to escape your fate and end up among the Starks.” Tywin said taking a seat as well. 

It took nearly an hour to tell the tale. Both Tywin and Tyrion interrupted with questions and Jaime and Lyanna did their best to answer them. Then the children were brought in, both Johanna and Jon. Jaime insisted that he planned to raise Lyanna’s child as his own and that Jon be counted among the family. Tywin agreed but only because Jon was a Targaryen, a possible key to power and he had no qualms about making his reasons known. The meeting went well enough and after a long while spent getting to know the children, longer than Jaime might have believed his father was capable of, the children were sent off to bed and the Lannister guests were seen to their rooms. 

The smile that Lyanna had plastered on her face disappeared the moment her good father and good brother had gone. “What does your father mean by ‘key to power?” She asked Jaime. 

“I’m not sure. I only know that power is very important to him” Jaime said, running his hands through his hair. 

“I’ll not allow him to use my son start a war!” Lyanna told him. 

“I doubt he’d start a war. The rightful king is my sister’s son. What good would it do him to replace a half Lannister king with one that doesn’t have any Lannister blood?” Jaime said. 

“Maybe you’re right.” She said, trying to relax herself. 

“Of course I am. I’m always right.” Jaime said and Lyanna playfully punched him in the arm.


	25. Tyrion

Lyanna sat on ground at the edge of the practice yard in a most unladylike manner. She was watching Jon and his cousin Rob as the boys sparred with wooden swords. She had taken time to watch Jon practice every morning since she had arrived at Winterfell. Sometimes Jaime joined her, most times she went alone. It was far from the only time she spent with her son over the course of the day but it was one of her favorite times. She liked watching the joy on his face when he dealt a good blow or won a match. She liked the way Jon had come to expect to find her watching him, and the way he would ask her afterwards if she had seen what he had done. It was only a small thing to watch him practice swords and yet it was the most important thing in the world to the both of them every morning. 

Lyanna heard a shuffle of footsteps as someone approached on her right. She turned to see Tyrion Lannister making his way towards her. He came and sat down on the ground beside her. 

“This ground is rather cold to be sitting on.” Tyrion commented as he sat. 

“I hadn’t noticed.” Lyanna said, hardly taking her eyes off of Jon to speak to him. 

“I suppose you wouldn’t have.” Tyrion said. “From the sounds of your story yesterday, cold ground is a small price to pay to be near your son again.” 

“It certainly is.” Lyanna agreed. 

“In your opinion, what would be to high a price to be with your son?” Tyrion asked her, the tone conveying only curiosity. “I mean no offense but it seems you have risked my brother’s life to come here…” 

“Your brother is a grown man. If he didn’t want to bring me here then he didn’t have to.” Lyanna said, her voice tinged with anger. “Jon is only a child who needs his mother.” 

“Point taken.” Tyrion said. “But doesn’t your daughter need her father as well? And your unborn child?” 

“Of course they do. What is your point?” 

“My only point is, that by being at Winterfell you are all still at risk. Personally, I’d like for my brother to keep his head. I think you’d prefer the same.” Tyrion told her. 

“So you think we should go back to Essos?” Lyanna said, more kindly this time. 

Tyrion nodded. “It’s not Rhaella that you need to worry about. Aerys was cruel to her and she is probably as glad to see the mad king dead as the rest of us are. She may want to punish Jaime as a show of power or she may not even care to try. I don’t know, but I do know that my sister and my father will never leave your son in peace.” 

“I don’t understand… why not?” Lyana asked him, finally taking her eyes off Jon for just a moment. 

“My sister is Queen Regent as you know. She enjoys being queen, having power. Her son Jaeharys is a true Targaryen. He is only a boy and my sister has no control over him whatsoever. He is as mad as Aerys and has rarely been told no in all his life. My father and sister have had a falling out of sorts. He doesn’t want another mad king to be his legacy and has told Cersei so. Father would rather Jaeharys was sent off privately to the Quiet Isle and never be crowned when he is of age than to have a legacy of madness. She hates him for that… and Jon....well he could be the solution to all our problems…” Tyrion said. 

“No…” Lyanna began anxiously. “There has to be some other solution.” 

“There is none that I can see.” Tyrion explained. “I wish there were.” 

Lyanna went silent as she worriedly thought over Tyrion’s words. She felt sick. Perhaps Rhaegar had been right all along. Perhaps Jon was destined to rule and there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

“Whatever you decide to do after this,” Tyrion began, “I’ll be on your side, or on my brother’s side as I expect he will side with you. My father’s plans and wishes mean very little to me.” Tyrion got up and left her to her thoughts.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time jumps ahead ten years in this chapter. Sorry it's so short! Please forgive me!

Secrets were not so easy to keep in Westeros but Winterfell managed to keep their secrets for almost ten years. Lyanna had been willing to leave with Jaime and her children, had packed her bags and been at the gates and it had been Ned who convinced her to stay. He insisted that as long as Tywin and Tyrion kept their Jaime’s return to themselves, no one would ever know the truth about Jon or know to look for Jaime at Winterfell. And so she had stayed. They’d had more children, both Lyanna and Cat. A girl and two boys for Cat. Another girl and a boy for Lyanna. Jon had grown into a strong young man and Johanna was a very lovely but strong willed young woman. Ned had seemed to accept Jaime Lannister as his good brother and though the two irritated one another at times, they no longer had any animosity between them. Lyanna had grown comfortable enough with her life to finally stop worrying. 

One evening Lyanna and Jaime were having dinner with their children in their solar. Ned had executed a deserter of the Night’s Watch that day. Jon had attended the execution. He was silent and somber during dinner. Ned came to the door bearing a parchment of paper. 

“Pardon the interruption but I have news from King’s Landing.” Ned said. 

“What is it?” Jaime asked, knowing by now that the expression Ned wore meant bad tidings. 

“A bird came earlier today. Cat brought me the news in the godswood. Lord Tyrell died in a hawking accident… the Hand of the King is dead…. and the Queen Regent and Prince Jaehaerys are on their way to Winterfell.” Ned told them. 

“But...why….do you think she knows?” Lyanna asked. 

“If she doesn’t know it yet, she’ll soon find out.” Ned said. “She sent a letter two moons ago to seek a betrothal between the Prince and Sansa. From what I have heard of the prince, I could not approve this betrothal. She gives no explanation for the reason for her visit. If it’s Sansa she wants, she will not have her.” 

“She’s looking for me.” Jaime said. “Someone must have told her something.” 

“Well, if that’s all she wants then perhaps there is nothing to fear.” Ned said, and he took his leave of them. 

“If Ned won’t give up Sansa for the Prince, do you think your sister will ask for Johanna?” Lyanna asked him worriedly. 

“She might.” He said sadly. “That might be exactly what she is planning to do.”


	27. Cersei

All of the Stark household lined up at the gates when Queen Cersei and Prince Jaehaerys arrived at Winterfell. Arya Stark was a little late and Ned had to remove the helm she had been wearing while she played but they were all ready and waiting nonetheless when the Queen stepped out of her wheelhouse. 

“My Queen.” Ned bowed as she approached him. Cersei looked over all the children lined up and her eyes fell on Lyanna and her children near the end of the line. 

“So it’s true?” Cersei said, motioning for Ned to stand. “Your sister Lyanna is here and has married a man who is somewhat of a mystery.” 

Ned opened his mouth but was at a loss for words to say to her. Cersei moved away from him and went to Lyanna. Sansa smiled at Prince Jaehaerys who watched the whole proceeding from horseback. 

“Where is your husband?” Cersei asked Lyanna. 

“He is lowborn. It was not fitting for him to be here.” Lyanna said evenly. 

“Well, it’s no matter. Whoever he is, he can not hide away forever.” Cersei said and turned back to Ned. “Lord Stark, we have business to attend to. Is there someplace more comfortable we can speak?” 

“Of course, I’ll see you the the solar.” Ned said and everyone parted their own separate ways. Cersei went with Ned to his solar. Servants rushed ahead of them and laid out food and wine on the table before they arrived. 

“I trust you’ve heard what happened to Lord Tyrell?” Cersei began as soon as the door was closed. 

“I have.” Ned said, unsure where she was leading. 

“I came all this way to ask you to take his place.” Cersei said. 

Ned was stunned but he had the sense to bow in spite of his shock. “You do me a great honor, your grace.” 

“I’m not asking to honor you. Stand up. The truth is, my son is...reckless...at times. The people of King’s Landing don’t understand him or give him the respect due to their prince. I can’t afford to chose a Hand that isn’t careful about the decisions he makes.” 

Ned didn’t know what to say. His hesitance to accept her offer was evident on his face. 

“And because you are a wise and cautious man Lord Stark, I trust you will think carefully about this offer before you refuse it. It would not be wise to anger House Targaryen a second time.” Cersei said boldly. 

“I have no intention of angering House Targaryen.” Ned said, knowing that she considered herself a Targaryen now, being the mother of one. “Let me speak to Cat about it and I will have a decision for you on the morrow.” 

“Good. Before the evening meal is ready, I would like to see my brother. I know he is here. I know he married your sister. I will not leave your solar until someone has sent him to me.” Cersei said. 

Ned got to his feet. “I’ll see what I can do.” He said, getting away from her as quickly as he could.


	28. Lannisters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter just because I haven't updated in forever and wanted to post something.

“You can’t go to her,” Lyanna told Jaime, alone in their chambers. Ned had just left them with news of Cersei’s request. 

“She knows I am here. She is the queen. What choice do I have?” Jaime said, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Do you think that after all this time she still…?” Lyanna hesitated to finish the question. 

“If you’re wondering if she might still care for me, I can promise you that it won’t matter,” Jaime said, a little hurt that she didn’t trust him. “I haven’t even thought about her in years. You are my wife. I swore to love you. Nothing can change that.” 

“I know, I just...I’m sorry,” Lyanna said. 

Jaime made his way the solar where his sister waited for him with trepidation. This was not going to be a pleasant reunion. She would likely be angry that he had been hidden from her for so long. 

He knocked on the door to the solar and then opened it without waiting her reply. She was looking out a window and turned to face him. She looked regal in the Targaryen black and red. 

“Jaime…” She breathed his name, dropping her wine glass to shatter on the floor. 

“Cersei.” He said simply. 

She crossed the room and hugged him. He hugged her in return. She was his sister, his family, and as such he did still care for her. He had been truthful when he told Lynna he had not thought of Cersei in years, not as a lover, but some part of him had missed her as a sister. 

Cersei pulled away from him and took a step back. She wasn’t crying at the reunion. That wasn’t her way. She looked up him and she spoke. 

“Why in seven hells didn’t you ever come back?” Now she was truly angry. 

“I couldn’t...Rhaegar and Rhaella…” He tried to explain. 

“I don’t give a damn about Rhaegar and Rhaella. You could have had the whole Lannister army and all of the west to defend you. Why didn’t you return to me?” 

Jaime looked at his feet. She wouldn’t like the answer. 

“Did you truly fall in love with Lyanna Stark or was she just a convenient way to hide?” Cercei went on. 

“I loved her and I love her still,” He told her, she needed to know before she got the idea that he would be her lover as before. 

“I see. Then there’s nothing left to say. You may go,” She said, and this time there truly were tears in her eyes. 

“Nothing left to say? Cercei, you are my sister and I haven’t seen you for nearly a lifetime. Of course there are things left to say,” He protested. 

“I said you may leave,” She hissed. 

Jaime nodded and backed out of the room. “As you wish,” He told her. 

That had gone better than he expected.


End file.
